THE CHAOS BLOG

April 7, 2025

im fucking tired.. my life has kinda been all over the place lately. made the mistake of telling someone i wanted to die (that day was specifically worse than other ones) and i got rewarded with a speech about how "other people suffer too" (i had asked something along the lines of "do most ppl have to put their life on pause like i did bcz of being depressed?" also i still have no idea if i legally have depression bcz the fucking report thing is worded THE ABSOLUTE WORST. like. guys. i have no idea what the fuck you mean by this??? anyways. my bad for not fucking understanding your shitty ass legal jargon.)

and then another day i went with a friend to a comic store which was awesome.

i love my friends, they are the awesomest of the awesome.

i bought a bunch of the new transfoerms skybound comics (which i am SUPER HAPPY ABOUT!) and it was nice out that day and now i have transformers comics.

i finally get to one up Sibling One [imagine a creepy creature grinning evily, thats me right now]

anyways i love transformers so much it hurts sometimes. its unreal. literlaly the best explaiation is its how i would imagine falling in love would be for an alloromantic person.

me when i am aromantic and i just fell DEEPLY in love with tranfsormers....

also the amount of transformers i would absolutely kiss... (when im horny, which is rarely) i would absolutely fuck them. AS A TRANSFOERMER MYSELF. because EWWW I HATE MY FUCKING HUMAN BODY WHY THE FUCK AM I TRAPPED IN IT I NEED TO GET OUT!!!!

also the amount of body dysmorphia (i think thats the word) i have been feeling lately...

like the reason i dont feel trans is because if i could have the body i wanted i would take a transformer body. i ain't sticking around in this puny flesh thing ok?

March 14, 2025

yooo im back. ik ik thank you for the applause.

im really tired right now because i didnt sleep... its 9 14 am rn btw.

i decided that it was actually a great idea to not sleep so i spent the night on tumblr and random websites. helps that i watched tv till around 1 30 am....

i went to see a Kraftwerk concert thought!!! it was really fun, and it was awesome too because its fricken KRAFTWERK!!

I came home at the end of the trip with some cool stuff:
1 kraftwerk tee shirt. im wearing it rn :D
2 a kraftwerk patch
3 transformers: one DVD!!! supre happy about that I LOVE TRANSFORMERS SO FUCKING MUCH OMG
4 a linkin park cd! hybrid theory bcz its a banger album.

the trip was really fun too.

and if for a few minutes of the concert prowl was sitting w/ me and vibing.. yes he was. it was nice that he could come, even for just a short bit

February 25, 2025

Hello Folx!!!

I dont really know what to put here. I'm often scared I will say too much on the internet so that's not helping XD.

I started listening to Linkin Park more seriously recently, and I found their "Hybrid Theory" album. It's been playing on loop for a few days now. I really like it. It's just really raw, and the lyrics resonate in me.

I've also been interested in Transformers for a few months now, but I still haven't gotten round to reading the comics. Sibling One keeps bugging me about it, and I feel guilty... I do want to read the comics, I've often found American Comics a quite hard medium to read. Somthing about the art style and text fonts, I suppose.
That's one advantage to watching the shows, is that I find them easier to digest. My favourite so far is definitly Earthspark. I've started the G1 cartoon, but I'm going slowly. Sibling One watched Animated and quite enjoyed it. I, on the other hand, barely got through a few episodes. Something about it really annoyse me. Oh well. Same with Prime. I don't mind watching the episodes, but it's quite hard to actually sit down to watch.

On the whole thought, I do look forwards to looking at more Transformers stuff.

Fan content is a lot easier for me to motivate myself to look at, which, looking at myself, I think makes sense.